


After the Ball is Over

by Corvidology



Category: The Alienist (TV)
Genre: Angst, Assigned writer, Dancing, Fake Dating, Jealousy, M/M, Pining, Yuletide 2018
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-09-21 18:48:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17048609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Corvidology/pseuds/Corvidology
Summary: Written for Yuletide.Laszlo is curious and John is dragged along in his wake.





	After the Ball is Over

**Author's Note:**

  * For [seaswept](https://archiveofourown.org/users/seaswept/gifts).



"You cannot be serious!"

"I was as surprised as you are, John, but nevertheless they regularly host balls and—"

"Not that." It was difficult to breathe. He'd only been to a few of the balls some years back but if Laszlo might have discovered him there and what his reaction might have been didn't bear contemplating. 

"Then what?" The full force of Laszlo's gaze fell upon him. "I would have thought a man of the world such as you would have no problem with such things. I must admit to being disappointed in you, John. I am sure one day people will understand that one's sexual inclinations are no more significant than any other aspect of a person."

Despite many of his closest relatives assuming he would die in a bottle it seemed certain he was actually going to drop dead from apoplexy. "I meant you can't possibly be serious about attending such an event. Your endless need to understand everything will be your ruin. What if you're seen there? Your institute would never survive the scandal."

"Oh, John." Laszlo's dismissive tone was his least favorite and he'd cataloged them all. "Use your head! Anyone who might see me there would be in no position to tell anyone else without exposing themselves to public condemnation as well." Laszlo straightened his tie which didn't need straightening. "However, if you are not comfortable going with me as my 'plus one' I am sure my going alone would not be considered a social faux pas. I would assume there are ample opportunities to meet someone new at these types of soirées."

The thought of a man approaching Laszlo, laughing with him, dancing with him, sliding his arm across Laszlo's back— "Of course I'm going with you. I just wanted to make sure you had considered all the possible consequences." He hoped to god his own personal consequences had long since stopped attending the balls. 

 

From the outside, Walhalla Hall looked as it always had but inside, a lively social event was in progress. He'd comforted himself during the carriage ride over by recalling admission to these events was never given without a suitable introduction or conveyed password and, having none, they would be turned away at the door. He'd make consoling noises and have Laszlo delivered safely back to his house within the hour. Nothing more to worry about.

"Amsterdam." Laszlo spoke softly, pressing money into the doorman's hand and they were through the door and standing in front of the cloakroom attendant before he could entirely process what he'd just witnessed. 

Laszlo had the password. _Laszlo had the password._ There was plenty to worry about. 

"Your coat, John." Laszlo had already handed his own over and was watching him with a bemused expression. 

He skimmed out of his Inverness and handed it to the cloakroom attendant, receiving a token in return which he slipped into his pocket. 

He jumped as Laszlo slid his arm around his back and leaned in close to whisper in his ear, suggesting the deepest confidences were being quietly exchanged. 

"We are supposed to be a couple, John. I know being here is very distressing to you but you must do your best to relax else we will draw too much attention."

Easy enough for Laszlo to say. He could still feel the imprint of Laszlo's hand on his lower back as they walked into the hall where an orchestra was playing and couples were twirling around the floor. 

Laszlo slipped more money to the maître d' and they were promptly escorted to a table with a good view of the dance floor. "Perhaps a drink would help to calm your nerves?" 

"No."

Laszlo raised an eyebrow at his discourteous answer. 

"Please forgive my bad manners. You may not have noticed but I've been doing my best to cut back on my drinking."

"I had noticed and it is I who should be seeking forgiveness. I should not have even suggested it."

"Perhaps a bottle of wine? I can nurse a glass and we won't look so out of place."

Laszlo was already intently watching the couples dancing past them. "In this company I do not think anyone will even take a second look at us. Most of these outfits even put your wardrobe to shame."

He didn't consider himself a vain man, he just really appreciated well made clothes. A good tailor was an artist and capable of wallpapering over even the deep cracks in his rapidly aging facade of decorum and respectability. 

Laszlo was right though. All of the couples were dressed up in the latest fashions and he was chagrined to realize that several of the women wearing tails were making a better showing in them than he was, despite being nowhere near his height which generally helped him create such a fine figure in suits. Perhaps he was somewhat vain, truth be told. 

He could feel Laszlo's gaze boring into the side of his head, obviously finished with staring at the dancers and instead watching John for his reaction. 

"You look perturbed, John."

"As you say, I'm not used to being so outclassed."

"I thought perhaps you found the company objectionable."

"You shouldn't run yourself down so. You're really quite a decent fellow when you put your mind to it."

He loved Laszlo's rare laugh. "I suppose I deserved that."

The waiter brought the wine and they settled back into their chairs. He was touched to realize Laszlo wasn't drinking anymore than the few sips John was taking. Perhaps things would be all right after all. 

"John? John! I thought it was you!" 

If he didn't have bad luck then he would have no luck at all. Albert Berryman and what John took to be his very handsome young companion were standing arm in arm in front of their table.

"Aren't you going to introduce us?" Albert was turning his gaze fully on Laszlo. 

No, he wasn't. It was the last thing in the world he wanted to do. "Laszlo, meet Albert and...?" He paused, expecting Albert to offer up his companion's name but nothing was forthcoming. The companion withdrew his arm, looking peeved to say the least. 

Albert took Laszlo's hand in both of his and held it. "Charmed, I'm sure, Dr. Kreizler."

Hell and damnation! Albert, who knew everyone in the city, of course recognized Laszlo.

"Albert, I believe your young friend has departed for greener pastures." And he had, turning on his heel after seeing Albert manhandle Laszlo and retreating across the room. 

"Damn that boy! Laszlo. John. I hope to see both of you here again, soon." He kissed the back of Laszlo's hand and released it, hurrying across the now crowded dance floor in hot pursuit of his companion. It was a smart thing to do. Such a good looking young man wouldn't remain without a partner for long. 

"... Having known you for so long, John, I was surprised to meet a new friend of yours." 

He had to halt Laszlo's evident train of thought before it got any farther. "We were at school together. I'm surprised he still recognized me." They'd been eighteen when they'd last seen each other and Albert would probably never forget the face of the first man who'd fucked him. 

He'd known Laszlo for far too long. He predicted first there would be some sort of arch comment about boarding school boys, Laszlo having been taught by tutors, followed by a none too subtle inquiry into what the nature of their friendship had been. Perhaps this would be followed with an added comment on their psyches, how two men could be sexually involved but then develop very different sexual appetites. He was tired and annoyed enough with Laszlo that he just might buckle and give an honest answer to any such prying into his personal affairs. 

"We should dance."

"I beg your pardon?"

Laszlo stood up and extended his hand and he took it. Without releasing his hand, he led John out onto the dance floor and turned so they were facing each other.

John took Laszlo's right hand loosely in his left, holding it lower than the usual norm. 

"And why do you assume that you will lead? Is it a simple matter of height or do you fear your masculinity would be threatened by—"

He snorted. "I simply thought that it would be easier on your arm. If you would prefer to lead I have no problem with it."

Laszlo stared up at him as if to verify he was telling the truth. Evidently he was satisfied with what he saw in John's face. "It is a sensible suggestion."

He placed his right arm across Laszlo's back and led him into a waltz. To begin with there was a certain awkwardness to deal with. He assumed Laszlo had never had much cause to dance even though a gentleman would certainly have learned to and that he certainly would have had no experience in following rather than leading. Not that Laszlo was accustomed to being led in anything. Still, he was more pleased than he would ever have admitted to when Laszlo finally relaxed and followed his lead. It felt good to slowly circumnavigate the floor, Laszlo in his arms the way he'd always longed for. Well, not the way he'd always secretly longed for but it was pleasurable all the same. The only other time he'd got to wrap his arm around Laszlo he'd had a bad leg wound and he'd been so worried about it there'd been no real pleasure in holding him at all. All around them, couples were exchanging whispered conservations, dancing much closer to each other than respectable society would have ever sanctioned and generally behaving in a way he wished he was free to do so with Laszlo. To lean in closer and whisper of how long he'd cared for him, of the longing to take him to his bed, of slowly stripping him of his clothes and exploring his body. To tell him of all the times he'd taken his cock in hand and found his release while imagining the shape and heft of Laszlo's and how it would feel in his mouth or ass. Of how it would feel to be buried deep inside Laszlo. 

Damn it! As he turned Laszlo into the next corner he shifted his hips fractionally to the side so as not to be pressing the evidence of his wandering thoughts against Laszlo's stomach. He'd never had this problem when dancing with a woman but that involved a whole set of social morays about keeping a respectable distance, invalid under the current circumstances. 

"John?"

"Yes, Laszlo?"

"I think I have observed enough for tonight. Please take me home."

Laszlo meant his home of course. The ball was over for them and he would never dare to speak of his feelings and risk losing Laszlo's friendship. 

 

They'd collected their coats and were waiting for their carriage when a page brought Laszlo a note. He perused it briefly, scribbled a response, took some coins from his pocket and sent the page on his way. 

Seated in the carriage on their way to Laszlo's house, he was determined not to ask about the note. 

"I was not expecting as many women as men to be in attendance though I suppose if you have a friend of a like nature it would be convenient to tell one's parents you were attending a ball with that friend and then to meet with your real paramour inside the hall. I should have asked—"

"What was in the note, Laszlo?" So much for his determination. 

"Nothing, really." Laszlo stared out of the carriage window obviously deep in thought. "Albert asked if I would attend a ball next Friday as his guest."

"And you said no of course." 

"And why would I do that?" Laszlo turned to face him. "I am certain, given his proclivities, he will prove to be a excellent source of information."

"Because he has no interest at all in being your _guide._ He had to make Laszlo understand what an innocent he truly was in this world. "He obviously intends to seduce you."

"It will be very interesting to witness his attempt first hand."

The carriage pulled up in front of Laszlo's house and he started to climb out. 

"You don't understand, Laszlo. 'Dr. Kreizler' would be quite the feather in Albert's cap."

"Of course he could have no other reason to be interested in a cripple like me beyond my supposed notoriety. Goodnight, John." Laszlo slammed the carriage door behind him. 

 

Friday night found him knocking on Laszlo's front door. It was only six o'clock, far too early for the white tie and tails he was wearing but no matter what he was going to have his say before Laszlo met with Albert. 

Now all he had to do was actually come up with the right thing to say. 'I hold you in the highest esteem' was too cowardly, merely restating something Laszlo must already know, 'I love you' too bold and 'fuck me' too crude. Unfortunately, nothing better came to mind in the time it took Laszlo to open the door. 

"John? I was not expecting you."

Laszlo was in his shirtsleeves, as rumpled as he had ever seen him. But then he had plenty of time left to don his evening wear. 

"May I come in?"

"Of course." Laszlo led him into the parlor. There was a newspaper spread out across the sofa and a half eaten sandwich and glass of wine on the table beside it. "The rest of the household are out so I am fending for myself. Would you like anything?"

"Yes, I would." He remained standing in the middle of the room, squaring his shoulders. "If you still want to attend the ball tonight, I wish to be your 'plus one.'"

"But John—"

"Tell Albert you've changed your mind."

"Why?" 

He considered further obfuscation but he would never be Laszlo's intellectual match and he was so damn tired of it all. There was nothing left to do but admit what he'd been concealing from Laszlo for years.

"I have always been... attracted to both women and men. In my younger years, I regularly attended such events and can answer any questions you might still want to ask." He was highly unlikely to die of embarrassment no matter how much Laszlo pried. "You have no need to risk your reputation in Albert's company."

"You may as well know that the note I sent back to Albert declined his kind offer. I only meant to tease you."

"And then I made it worse by inadvertently offending you." He wanted to crawl back inside a bottle and never come out. He'd confessed his true nature to Laszlo with no real cause to do so and it was far too late to take it back. 

"But I am intrigued." Laszlo crossed the room, coming to stand less than a foot away from him. "Your actions are less those of a friend and more those of a jealous lover."

"Nonsense, Laszlo." He was now sweating under his shirt collar despite the coolness of the day. "I thought only of your reputation—"

"My reputation can take care of itself." Laszlo ran his hand down the lapel of John's tailcoat. "I believe this is a new suit." He walked around John, dragging his hand lightly across the breadth of his shoulders, down to his waist and briefly, but firmly, over the swell of his ass.

"Laszlo!" He tried to sound outraged but only managed breathless. 

"It is beautifully tailored, designed to show off your physique to its best advantage." Laszlo walked back around to face him, his hand resting at John's waist. "And, as if I was not already all too aware of your many charms, you had it specially made to impress me, didn't you, John?" His hand closed tightly over John's crotch where his erection strained against the cloth.

He'd surmised exactly how John felt about him and was conducting yet another cruel analysis of his feelings. "You bastard!" He pulled Laszlo in closer, bending to force a kiss on him in an effort to put Laszlo off balance for once.

Only Laszlo didn't back away but returned the kiss with enthusiasm, his hand freeing John's cock from his trousers, closing his fingers around him, working him fast. Laszlo's hold was too tight and too dry but it was still the fastest he'd ever come in his adult life and it took a while for his head to clear. He didn't even object when Laszlo wiped his hand clean on John's shirt. 

"I don't understand what's happening, Laszlo."

"I would have assumed you were past the birds and the bees stage, John, although this would probably be the birds and the birds—"

" _Laszlo._ " He kissed him again, slowly and tenderly. "You know what I meant."

"You are not alone in this, John." Laszlo took his hand and led him out into the hallway. 

"But you're making me leave?" 

"No, I am taking you upstairs to my bedroom."

"Why?" He knew of course, or at least hoped he did but with Laszlo he needed him to say the words or he would never believe his good fortune.

"Because I ruined your trousers and you cannot go out in public like this?" Laszlo placed his hand on the side of his neck and shook him lightly. "Idiot!" He pulled his head down and kissed him until he was lightheaded. "I have felt exactly the same way about you for years but, also like you I think, was unwilling to risk our friendship by speaking of my feelings." Laszlo stopped on the first step and extended his hand. "But now we can have everything. All you have to do is take my hand and come with me, John." 

He took Laszlo's hand and never looked back.

**Author's Note:**

> .
> 
> The dances at Walhalla hall came from [this online article](http://thegildedhour.com/gay-culture-in-19th-century-new-york-city/) while I was doing some background research.


End file.
